Thursday 29 May 2014

I am the victim of an addiction.

I have become the victim of an addiction. Just like many addicts, I feel the pressure of the cravings, the constant struggle to make the ‘right’ decisions.
I am the victim of an addiction.

But the addiction isn’t mine. The addiction is sugar and the addiction is everyone else’s and it could be yours too. Let me explain.

Firstly, not everyone is a sugar addict. It just so happens that I am. Ever have a bit of chocolate or cake and need to eat the whole thing? I don’t mean a desire to eat the whole thing, an actual physical craving and absolute need to consume it all once you have tasted the good stuff.

Is one bit ever enough? Is it all or nothing? That is how it is for me. I can’t control how much I do have so I have to control the fact that I don’t or can’t have it.

But it is not my sugar addiction that I am a victim  of – it is everyone else’s. Since I took on Sarah Wilson's I Quit Sugar (IQS) 8 week-detox, I have lost weight, I feel energised and healthy. I don’t have sweet cravings, needs or fixes. My skin is clearer, my energy is high, I am not so tired even if I have a terrible night sleep (a frequent occurrence for me) and I don’t feel the afternoon or mid-morning ‘slump’ – or at least I don’t crash into an abyss without a biscuit or coffee fix.

I feel fabulous and look great – and actually think I look fabulous and great too – a huge achievement for most women to think yet along actually admit to smiling in the mirror in the mornings. Most importantly my body feels more ‘stable’ now that I have a greater control over my blood sugar and insulin levels which means less” super-grumpy-because-I’m-hungry” syndrome.
I am very affected by what I eat and how I treat my body. 

This is a cliché that many people use like ‘the body is a temple’ blah blah blah. But there is a degree of truth in it. However, everyone is very different and treats very differently. Myself – if I ate too much sugar I would hit an energised high, and come crashing down horribly on my sugar comedown. Symptoms include: dizziness, faintness, fatigue, nausea, headaches, tingly limbs and the shakes.

My hunger has decreased and I actually don’t really miss the sweet stuff anymore – finding great sugar-free alternatives and baking with non-sugar sweeteners.

But throughout this healthy change of mine, I have found that I have become a victim of other’s addiction to sugar. Naturally, working in an office there is a lot of sitting down – and even more eating to be had. I have never seen and been offered so much of the sweet treats until I had recently taken up my new role. 

Society has made sugar so integral to our lives that most of us can’t live without it. 

The office appears to be the epitome of this:

  • Some’s baked?
  • Someones birthday?
  • Snacks at work?
  • Morning tea?
  • Afternoon tea?
  • Meeting biscuits?
  • Meeting double chocolate and raspberry cheesecake? (this happened to me last week).
  • Something with your cuppa?
  • Religious festivals/celebrations?


Some answers to the above that I have been offered in the first 4 weeks of working here:

  • Easter eggs
  • Biscuits
  • Banana Bread
  • Jam Donut
  • Fruit Platters
  • Finger sandwiches
  • Coffee cake
  • Cheese and crackers
  • Champagne and wine
  • The double chocolate and raspberry cheesecake as mentioned above.
  • Homemade chocolate and banana muffins


This has turned me into a dishonest and sneaky person – as if I was giving into my sugar cravings and gorging all of these items on the sly, away from normal eyes. The truth is, I am actually hiding my healthy self to my current colleagues by having to accept these items and ‘hide’ them or take them home under the guise of – “I’ll have it after lunch” or “I’ll make a cup of tea to go with it”. 

My partner says they must think I have an eating disorder or something. But these lies are to hide the fact that I am actually experiencing work peer pressure to eat these items and to eat them every time they come around. I have been offered cake with a phrase like “you look like you could do with one of these”. Said in jest, but it hurts still the same – as I am being judged for my healthy choices and my willpower to say “no” to the temptation- something I can never do when I am on a sugar high. 

I have tried to politely refuse, but it has actually gotten to the point where my colleagues are forcing me to take some because “it is just sooo good, you HAVE to try it”. Really, seeing me eat these things or at least take them, justifies their own decisions – of which I have nothing wrong with. 

But I definitely don’t judge those who can and choose to eat these items with “you really don’t need one of those now do you?”. But its ok on the other foot? People have insecurities and weaknesses, or they just damn well love cake – it’s none of my business, so why make my business yours? 

Unfortunately, despite how lovely everyone is, they just wouldn’t understand what I am trying to do for myself and what I have achieved already – and how proud of myself I am for all of this! They would think its a crazy wedding diet and that I am being silly because “I’m so tiny” (I have overheard colleagues discussing how “tiny” I am as if it was a bad thing) – when in actual fact, the wedding is just the first goal to ensure I maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle always. 

It is a lifestyle change in preparation for the wedding and my new married life – not just a crash diet so I can eat lots of cake on the wedding day (which I will still do by the way!)

And this post is just my personal experience - it is not intended to preach or convert anyone. Just an interesting observation I have learnt through doing this trial.

It's funny, it kind of reminds me of the 6 years I was vegetarian. You wouldn't think that there would be much to say as it is so common these days - but funnily enough, everyone appears to have an opinion on the matter. The lengthy discussions that were had about 'how good meat is for you', 'animal rights' etc etc is actually quite fascinating.

Especially when my contribution was always something like " I don't really like meat". Bam. End of conversation. You can't argue with opinion, but you can argue about ethics, values and politics.

But the shoe also goes on the other foot. I've had conversations with vegetarians that can talk "til the cows come back to their happy home' too!

All in all, society needs to respect and recognise that everyone's bodies are very different, react and respond very differently to each other. This means we all have different needs - and  how some people can eat whatever they like and feel fabulous, and others have to be a little bit more controlled over the situation to get the same feeling.

At the end of the day, who doesn't want to wake up feeling fantastic?