A letter to the broken-hearted.

All around the world, we are all affected by the pain of loss. In many forms, everywhere, no one is immune. A few of the most beautiful people I know are feeling the pain of loss, in it's different variations. This letter is for them.

To my broken-hearted friend,

Oh my love. I know the pain runs so very deep. I can feel your pain running through my veins, deep into my own heart. It is beating strongly for you, whilst your own is in recovery.

We can get through this together. Whilst your pain is your own, I can remember my past pain too. And it hurts. Deeply.

Have faith in knowing that it will pass. This pain will carve a path in your heart, but over time it will heal to become a light scar - a part of your journey and an important mark in shaping your future-self.

You are strong. You are brave. Don't be afraid, for there is nothing to fear. The future is bright and the best is yet to come. But only if you take the plunge now. Show your strength, Bring out your bravery. Put yourself on the path. Be open-minded. Be open to "the new". Not now. But later. When you are ready.

You deserve more. Believe it and it will happen.

xoxoxo

Thirty Years of the English Rose.

A week ago I celebrated my 30th birthday. And I've been a little surprised at how little I have been bothered about this fact. I've known many people to already hit this "landmark" birthday, with various responses - from none, to totally freaking out.

I'm not quite in the "none" camp, but I have become fairly reflective in the lead up, of the past decade and everything it had brought with it. I guess it's a way of closing the door on my 20's so I can fully embrace and confidently walk through the door to my 30's.

A lot has happened. My 20's was a jam-packed decade - the first part was full of parties, fun, travelling the world, living in numerous locations all over the world, thrill-seeking, risk taking, having the most amazing experiences and meeting some of my closest life-long friends.

The second half was a roller-coaster of changes as I met my future husband and relocated my entire life to the other side of the world. My mid-late twenties was certainly a a cycle of emotions as I jumped through the visa paperwork hoops, contracted in what feels a million jobs and came to terms with starting a new life. I also became ill and am still recovering over a year later - which has definitely taught me the true meaning of patience and how to slow down. 

Of course this second half also brought me my soulmate and our beautiful wedding, new adventures in a new country and new lifelong friends. How lucky am I?!

It's funny how life can turn out. What I've learnt from the last decade is that you life definitely surprises you, and rewards those who are brave enough to take risks, with delights that you never imagined were possible.

What am I looking forward to in the next decade? Whatever life throws at me. You never know what is going to happen, but I am hoping for new experiences, positive things and maintaining my health. I intend to live my life full of love for myself and everyone around me. I intend to retain perspective to ensure I have a good balance in all aspects of my live. And I intend to let go of the silly things that can get you down. All the things you can't change about your physical self, and improve all the things on my emotional self that still has the capacity to grow.

I'm not sure why turning 30 is a big deal, but I guess it just depends on where you are in life and how you view it. Ten years ago I'd never have thought my journey would take me here, and how happy I would be about everything that's happened - because it does all work out.

Much love to all my beautiful friends and family around the world who showed me all their love on this "landmark" day. It was awesome and I can't wait to share another ten years with you all in my life. xoxo

P.S - I'd also like to get another dog, so Winston can have a little brother, because he's just so cute:

Putting pen back to paper.

It’s been over a year since I last wrote to you all and since then, many things have happened. None of which I chose to write about. Every now and then some of my more eager readers occasionally ask why this is, and if I will ever write again. 

Well I hope this entry helps answer the latter as yes, I intend to write again. The truth is, despite having no experience or expertise in this area, I really enjoy writing as another creative output (one of many I tend to have - too many possibly!) And from some of the feedback I’ve received from friends and family around the world, it seems some of you enjoy reading about my experiences as well.

When I was back home last Christmas with my friends and family, it was the first Christmas I’d had at home in the four years I’ve now been living in Australia. Naturally, I took the opportunity to Skype with friends all across the world as the time difference was not as terrible as when I’m in Melbourne. And our conversation turned back to my blog, as my friend in the States was a keen reader of mine. It was when she asked me why I’d stopped writing that the realisation then dawned on me. I didn’t need to anymore.

That might sound strange to some of you, but for me, this blog was always intended to talk about my new life here in Australia. To give some insight into what it’s really like living here - the key differences between England and Australia. This included everything from the language, the culture, the people, the politics and of course the weather!

When you  move to the other side of the world, you need to make sense of all the new elements and you naturally compare them to what you know - which is how life is where you grew up. Writing this blog helped me to share my experiences with my loved ones at home, to help build the bridge in my mind between my two worlds. It was also an outlet for me to work through living in another country, to come to terms with having left everyone I knew and loved back in the UK and to help overcome my tremendous guilt I have always felt by leaving - and then not returning.

So I’ve come to this realisation of what this blog really was for me - which was my way of reaching out and to try and help forgive myself for moving to the other side of the world, in the pursuit of love and new opportunities which I could never have back in England. And now that I’ve lived here for four years, I feel like I don’t need that anymore. I’ve shared my highs and lows, the funny moments and the hardship of being homesick. I’ve accepted the fact that I finally am starting to feel like I belong, something that has literally taken years and a lot of trial error - and again a lot of laughter mixed with tears. I finally have a secure job that I enjoy, have made friends - hopefully friends for life and have made a home with my beautiful husband who has been nothing but supportive though my emotional journey here in Australia. Another truth of our situation is that both parties have plenty of guilt - just different kinds.

This doesn’t mean that I won’t be writing anymore, or I won’t be sharing any of my funny observations or political frustrations - I’m sure there will be many more to come -  particularly as I’m eligible for citizenship this year - it just means that my writing may take a different angle. There will be times when emotions run high and I might need to reach out once again but for the time being, I feel happy and settled in Melbourne and I’m very much looking forward to our future here and everything that has to bring - good and bad.

So I’ll wrap this up with a massive “thank you” to everyone that has supported me on this journey from all sides of the world - as you’ve read - it’s not been easy but it’s certainly getting easier. I’ve learnt along the way that 24 hours and 10.497 miles apart (my bestie worked that out!) - that's 16,893kms to all my Aussie readers! It’s only been through the love and support of my amazing friends and family across the UK, USA, Finland, Ireland & Spain and the same with my new family and friends in Australia that I’ve truly learnt the meaning of long distance and that time and distance doesn’t mean a thing, because true relationships are always with you in your heart.

On a side note: I don't believe in Valentines Day but my Finnish friend told me it's more of a friendship day there. So happy belated Valentines Day!

With love xoxo