An almost 2.5 year Australia Mythbusting Fictional Review with the English Rose.

The differences between Aussies and Poms:

Aussie	English
Doona	Duvet
No worries/mate	That’s ok
She’ll be alright	It’ll be ok
Struth!	Goodness!
Dag	Unfashionable/Goofy/Naff
Stubbie	Bottle of beer
Stubbie Cooler	Beer holder/cooler
Choof Off	Leave/Go
Outback	Desert
The Bush	Forest/Woods
“I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck”	“I’m really hungry”
Bottle-O	The Offie
Chips	Crisps
Hot Chips	Chips

Q- So, when we think of Australia here in the UK, we think about all the sharks and spiders and snakes..how do you cope with that?

ER – I live in a constant state of fear under my doona...Not really. To be honest, people are much more dangerous than all of these creatures. Especially if they are drunk. Even more so out in the bush. Red alert if the two are combined. Or silent rhinos. They are pretty dangerous too.

Q- But I thought all of these creatures thrived in hotter climates? Does this mean that Australia isn’t hot?

ER – Yes and No. I mean yes to the poisonous creatures thing and Yes and No to Australia being hot thing. It’s both. In different places at different times, or in the same place at the same time. Confused? Visit Melbourne in Spring or Autumn. A little known fact outside of Australia is that they have a ski season with mountains and snow and stuff like that. The concept of cold also differs in each state. In QLD below 25 degrees is cold. In Victoria it’s below 10 degrees.

Q- Do Aussies and Kiwi’s sound the same?

ER – Actually, no they don’t. Whilst I never used to be able to tell the difference, my ears are now finely tuned to heat the nasal twang of the Aussie accent, which is in stark contrast to the tinny Kiwi accent. No offence to either.

Quick-fire round.

Q-Everyone surfs?

ER – No. No they don’t. As stated previously, it’s not always hot. And not all places are sea water – aka the beach – and some of these aren’t even surfable as they are more like swimming bays. A safe haven for foreigners like myself.

Q-Everyone is tanned, buff with sandy blonde hair (like a surfer?)

ER – Yes, yes they are! Jokes. Unfortunately not. That would be nice wouldn’t it? Again, unless you live on the GC (Gold Coast) or live permanently on Bondi Beach then it’s just not true. A few exist, but the majority have jobs. Fast-fact – a large percentage (can’t remember what) of Aussies actually have a Vitamin D deficiency due to working in a n office all day and not laying naked in the sun. It can kill you here anyways.

Q-Yowzas. What about kangaroos?

ER –Well, they do exist. They just aren’t everywhere. At least they aren’t in the cities. You don’t see them crossing the street or catching the tram. You’re most likely to see them on the side of the road. Or in a zoo.

Q-And koalas?

ER – See above.

Q- Do people actually play didgeridoos?

ER – Buskers and in aboriginal shows generally. It’s not a widely practised art, unless its making money it seems.

Q- Can you through a boomerang?

ER – Of course! I don’t think it would come back though.

Q- What famous stuff have you seen in Australia?

ER – Erm, I saw a few famous bits when I was backpacking here such as the Great Barrier Reef and the Sydney Opera House. This time it’s been more of a ‘local’ trip. I can direct you to get a great coffee and tell you where the bus goes...however I have seen some ‘big stuff’ which is semi-famous in and around Oz:

·          Big Sphynx

·          Big Ayers Rock Petrol Station

·          Big Merino

·          Big Banana

·          Big Koala

There are many more.

But we are going to Ayers Rock next year for our 4 year anniversary!

Q-What about the ‘shrimp’ thing?

ER – You mean the ‘shrimp on the barbie’ thing?

Well, yes in QLD people do BBQ alot. It’s like an outside oven and much more sophisticated than in the UK. Funnily enough, coal barbeques are considered novel and retro. But shrimps here are not called shrimps. They are prawns. And they are usually huge by European standards. The UK ‘prawn’ is pretty much a tiny shrimp. Please note this image:

 

Q- Sooo..your shrimp is wearing an Aussie hat? Is that a myth too?

ER – Erm...pretty much. It’s another tourist lie. Although I did see 1 Aussie wearing one, once. So it can happen.

 

Q- What other tourist lies are there?

ER –That drop bears are dangerous. Haven’t heard of them? Google it.

Q-So what is the true Australia?

ER –Let me kick back and open a cold one before I get back to you.

Q-Well, that was insightful. Maybe I should see what it’s really like. Can I stay with you?

ER –No worries mate.

 

Other things to check out for more Aussie culture:

·          Australia’s Eurovision Performance

·          Skippy

·          Neighbours Set Tours.

·          When Opera visited Australia

·          When Ellen visited Australia