Career Crack

I recently saw this post on Facebook and it instantly alleviated some of my current worries.

5 months out from the wedding day and 5 ¾ months from my 28^th birthday, I’d have thought I had it all figured out. Learning from my mistakes in my teen years and “discovering myself” in my twenties. 30 is on the horizon along with becoming a wife, buying a house, owning a dog and rabbit (they will be friends) and hopefully having a family of my own.

Alas. As I evaluate my life on a Tuesday afternoon (I wrote this yesterday) on a rare, sunny autumn day in Melbourne, I realise that maybe I’m not quite there. Newly unemployed after escaping the clutches of yet another workplace destined to send me into an early grave. And I had subscribed t it along with everyone else.

Now that its only 4 months till we leave for the wedding and requiring 6 weeks off, it seems unlikely that a permanent job is on the immediate horizon. However, I’m tempted to believe that this could be a blessing in disguise.

We spend so long in the workplace with the retirement age seaming increasingly out of reach. Factor in university, some travel and a few years of family time and you are still looking at around 40 years working 38 hour weeks – unless you are fortunate enough not to have to.

Now this is obviously less than previous generations, however with the world being so career focussed, I am tempted to believe that with higher competition, expectations , working hours and responsibilities, that today’s working world has hit a peak in stressful working conditions. And it is not working out. With more people now than ever suffering from work-related stress issues including insomnia/sleep disorders, this is not a sustainable strategic plan for long-term growth.

Going back say 12 years when I was a kid, I used to think that the monotony of a 9-5 job was s routine, so typical, aka so conventional. I was extremely career focussed – set on getting my qualifications so I could go to uni to “better myself” and to enjoy the privilege of a “better life” with “higher pay” as it was sold to us prospective undergrads.

Little did I know that a ‘career job’ didn’t fit into this mould of a regular 9-5 job as I was avoiding, but in the worst way possible. Hello late nights, working from home, working weekends and whatever else to ‘prove myself’ in my career, my dedication to each and every role I took.

I could never predict how an industry that you give so much to can take even more back until it is taking things like your health and social life until you feel you have nothing left to give. Or even willingly give.

They say that your 20s is a period of uncertainty, self-discovery and getting to grips with your path in life. Well, I have definitely seen the uncertainty in the last few weeks – if not for many years. Being surprisingly unemployed after giving everything plus more until I ended up  with a sleep disorder psychologist. He is helping but miraculously my sleeping is much better without the anxiety of work.

I have learnt my boundaries in the workplace what I am prepared to give and compromise and what I am not.  Maybe this is what sealed the unemployment deal.

But most importantly I do feel that despite this hurdle I am on a healthier path in life. I have recognised that I have a self-sacrificing schema (Google it if it resonates with you – it could really help) which means I am destined to a decline in my own personal heath in order to benefit someone else. This has drawn me to the conclusion that the fundraising industry can never be an entirely good thing for me.

So, a time to reflect, back-track and to see what I really can do and achieve without all the monkeys, gorillas and other zoo animals on my back. I’d like to go back to my creative routes where I am truer to myself and I can dedicate my time to my health, my life, my future and our future life together.

In the meantime, maybe I should really go back to my routes and get a paper round.

Other updates:

The plant situation is going really well with a large number of reddening chillies and the mint going pretty crazy. The wedding prep is also going well – I think – with invitations to be posted in the next few weeks.  I am attempting to catch up on all the things that you never have time to do as well as getting a new job and wedding stuff.

I shall try to keep my updates more regular – it is one of my resolutions – so keep prodding me ok?

Much love xx