I recently saw this post on Facebook and it instantly alleviated
some of my current worries.
5 months out from the wedding day and 5 ¾ months from my 28th
birthday, I’d have thought I had it all figured out. Learning from my mistakes
in my teen years and “discovering myself” in my twenties. 30 is on the horizon
along with becoming a wife, buying a house, owning a dog and rabbit (they will
be friends) and hopefully having a family of my own.
Alas. As I evaluate my life on a Tuesday afternoon (I wrote
this yesterday) on a rare, sunny autumn day in Melbourne, I realise that maybe
I’m not quite there. Newly unemployed after escaping the clutches of yet
another workplace destined to send me into an early grave. And I had subscribed
t it along with everyone else.
Now that its only 4 months till we leave for the wedding and
requiring 6 weeks off, it seems unlikely that a permanent job is on the immediate
horizon. However, I’m tempted to believe that this could be a blessing in
disguise.
We spend so long in the workplace with the retirement age
seaming increasingly out of reach. Factor in university, some travel and a few
years of family time and you are still looking at around 40 years working 38
hour weeks – unless you are fortunate enough not to have to.
Now this is obviously less than previous generations,
however with the world being so career focussed, I am tempted to believe that
with higher competition, expectations , working hours and responsibilities,
that today’s working world has hit a peak in stressful working conditions. And
it is not working out. With more people now than ever suffering from
work-related stress issues including insomnia/sleep disorders, this is not a
sustainable strategic plan for long-term growth.
Going back say 12 years when I was a kid, I used to think
that the monotony of a 9-5 job was s routine, so typical, aka so conventional.
I was extremely career focussed – set on getting my qualifications so I could
go to uni to “better myself” and to enjoy the privilege of a “better life” with
“higher pay” as it was sold to us prospective undergrads.
Little did I know that a ‘career job’ didn’t fit into this mould
of a regular 9-5 job as I was avoiding, but in the worst way possible. Hello
late nights, working from home, working weekends and whatever else to ‘prove
myself’ in my career, my dedication to each and every role I took.
I could never predict how an industry that you give so much
to can take even more back until it is taking things like your health and
social life until you feel you have nothing left to give. Or even willingly
give.
They say that your 20s is a period of uncertainty, self-discovery
and getting to grips with your path in life. Well, I have definitely seen the
uncertainty in the last few weeks – if not for many years. Being surprisingly
unemployed after giving everything plus more until I ended up with a sleep disorder psychologist. He is
helping but miraculously my sleeping is much better without the anxiety of
work.
I have learnt my boundaries in the workplace what I am
prepared to give and compromise and what I am not. Maybe this is what sealed the unemployment
deal.
But most importantly I do feel that despite this hurdle I am
on a healthier path in life. I have recognised that I have a self-sacrificing
schema (Google it if it resonates with you – it could really help) which means
I am destined to a decline in my own personal heath in order to benefit someone
else. This has drawn me to the conclusion that the fundraising industry can
never be an entirely good thing for me.
So, a time to reflect, back-track and to see what I really
can do and achieve without all the monkeys, gorillas and other zoo animals on
my back. I’d like to go back to my creative routes where I am truer to myself
and I can dedicate my time to my health, my life, my future and our future life
together.
In the meantime, maybe I should really go back to my routes
and get a paper round.
Other updates:
The plant situation is going really well with a large number
of reddening chillies and the mint going pretty crazy. The wedding prep is also
going well – I think – with invitations to be posted in the next few weeks. I am attempting to catch up on all the things
that you never have time to do as well as getting a new job and wedding stuff.
I shall try to keep my updates more regular – it is one of
my resolutions – so keep prodding me ok?
Much love xx
