Riding the Rollercoaster.

As I am fast approaching the grand old age of 28, I have come to realise that the 20’s decade is a beautiful but rickety rollercoaster that you have to ride. When you first got on it, you really wanted to, but as you see the end in sight, you’re pretty glad to get off.

 

When you first enter your twenties having come out of the other end of the angsty teenage years, the twenties seems bright and fresh and full of hope and possibilities. 

You go to university, meet lots of new people, stay up all night partying and then doing a chocolate run during exam/exhibition time. You meet lifelong-friends, some meet their future husbands and wives and you then you enter the adult world a bit exhausted, but excited and full of knowledge – raring to kick-start your career and achieve all those ambitious dreams.

But at the (nearly) grand old age of 28, I don’t feel that I have it all figured out quite yet. Or even nearly figured out at all.

 

Fast forward a few years and it’s time to reflect on what happened.

 

Time apparently sped up to the point where you have become one of those people that says, “doesn’t time fly” and “I can’t believe it’s (insert month here) already!” and finally, “ I don’t know where this year has gone”.

 

I haven’t been in a ‘career’ job for longer than 1.5 years and have racked up a fair few places on my CV as I move from place to place – always searching for ‘that place’ that I can call home.

I have gained lots and lots of transferable skills from 1 industry and have learnt what and where my ‘line’ is with regards to work, the workplace, people and stress. And then I took on a new role and actually learnt it.

 

I watched Masterchef Australia the other day where one of the 28 year old contestants was called ‘brave’ for discovering what he really wanted to do – even though it was a little late in the game. 

Like we are supposed to have it all figured out by now.

 

And according to the ‘olden days’, in your twenties you are supposed to have:

 

-       Become educated/learn a trade

-       Get a job/career and that is just ‘what you do’

-       Find a partner

-       Buy a house

-       Start a family

That seems like an awful lot to me! Of course it doesn’t take into consideration that a lot of people travel these days, change careers and actually don’t even end up doing what they spent thousands studying. Yay for the recession!

 

A few weeks ago – all of this really bothered me. I have a little bit of a meltdown thinking that I was the only person in the world riding this rollercoaster. 

From the outside, it always seems like everyone else has it together.

 

It seems like most of my friends have their careers on track and in a good place – something of which i am still envious of as I struggle to figure out whether the last 5 years in my industry have been any good for me and whether I can continue or want to continue down this path.

 

However I know the grass is always greener. I have met the love of my life who I will proudly call my husband in a few months time and I have also travelled around the world twice and have experienced many things that my peers have not.

 

During this period of uncertainty, I spoke with a very close friend of mine back in the UK who had just started a new and exciting role and explained how I felt and all of my worries about not having achieved the things we are supposed to.

 

She said, “Do you really think we have it all figured out? I don’t have a clue what I am doing and I don’t know where I am going. I’m just doing it”.

 

And was  my final loop of the rollercoaster. I had overcome my fear of the unknown and my uncertainty of the 20’s to sit back and appreciate where I am right now and to relax as this decade comes to a full stop and you can finally lift that heavy bar from you and step out into your thirties having achieved some of what you wanted to achieve.

 

And as I step off this rollercoaster ride knowing that veryone else on it is feeling the same, I can’t help but wonder what ride of ‘unachievements’ I’ll choose to get on next. And that’s the exciting part.

The Wedding 'Mare.

As I sit here munching on my hot buttery raisin toast and earl grey tea, I realise that the 5 month mark has slipped by me without even realising. By 3 days to be exact.

It is this fact and the fact that I didn't realise, that makes me realise that we are on that downward roller-coaster ride to the wedding day. What also solidified this realisation was the start of the wedding nightmares.

This started happening last week - when my subliminal mind must have been trying to tell me that the countdown had begun - as I awoke in a panic realising that I had just lived out my wedding day without any head wear or ceremony decorations. To top it all off, no one ate the cake. The panic set in.

I am reluctant to subscribe to the constant countdown to the wedding day, as this can instil worry, panic, anxiety, pressure, nightmares or all of the above. The pressure that we all put ourselves under for the sake of ensuring it is the most photogenic event ever, to top cousin Bethal's $100k wedding on Hamilton Island with dolphins delivering the rings to the shore*, is getting out of hand.

However, although I am trying to be the 'cool, calm and collected' bride that I would like to be, I am not immune to the wedding nightmares.

The lists of tasks not yet completed, the decisions not yet made, the millions of ideas to sift through and discuss of yet another Pinterest board will definitely reek havoc on your sleep content.

The fact that most wedding guests don't take home their 'gift' or can't recall the flower arrangements on the tables does help to refocus our energies on areas that will actually enhance the day without spending hours or money worrying about the finest details - that will be forgotten in an instant.

I have it on good authority, and from my own experience, that guests always remember the dress, the food, the music selection, that funny moment the flower-girl farts mid-ceremony ** and whether there is a free bar or not. Sometimes the wedding cake is forgotten and left uneaten! As a lover of cake insert - Shock! Horror! here.

What I am constantly trying to remember is perspective. The reason why we are getting married and the journey that it has taken to get us both here.

Having met my gorgeous fiancé in South America, reconnecting in Australia, kidnapping him to Asia, meeting the family back home in England and then jetting off to live in Australia, we realised very early on in our relationship what we wanted our end goal to be. There were so many chances to back out and it would have been easier to do so, but we both know that we would have missed out on an incredible lifetime of happiness.

I think it is a telling sign that the hardest part of a relationship in our situation, is the situation itself, as being together is the easiest part.

So with that in mind it is now 4 months and 27 days until W-Day and I should get back to that list. Just for the record, the chocolate cake will be cut and it will be eaten in multiple slices (and that's just for me!) as nothing says "I love you" more than fabulous cake.

I am sure there will be many more wedding nightmares (like knocking over the wedding cake just like I did at my Mum and Step-dads wedding***) but if that happens, just wake up and make another hot buttery slice of raisin toast with a cup of earl grey tea - but this time, for two.


Much love xoxo


*disclaimer - I do not have any cousins, definitely none called Bethal and this is not a suggestion on how to utilise dolphins in your own wedding.

**disclaimer -This did actually happen at a friends wedding. And it was pretty funny.

***disclaimer -This also happened. Luckily the solid royal icing saved it.


Ps - Thank you for all your kind words of support for my last blog post. It is greatly appreciated and your insight has given me great inspiration for your appreciation.

It's times like these that you need a bucket...

It's definitely times like these that you need a bucket. A bucket of luck, a bucket of money, a bucket of sunshine and even a little bucket of sanity to help you along the way.

Not that things are bad, on the contrary, things are pretty good and I'd be horribly ungrateful not to recognise how lucky we have been, once again, to fall onto our feet.

And for this I am extremely grateful. Moving to the other side of the world is definitely not easy, but is definitely easier with how lucky we have been. But whilst an element is luck, it is also hard work.

For everyone that knows us well (namely our parents), knows that we take on too much. Wedding plans, 2 engagement parties, 3 house moves in 8 months, 1 major trip to the UK, various trips whilst in the UK and starting a new life in Melbourne (aka job and house hunting yet again!).

So yes, we are lucky that we can get up and go, not be too phased or worried about our situations and start all over again.

This time, I think it's different for the both of us. We have moved around a lot in the last few years- it's been amazing and awesome, but it gets tiring living out of a suitcase and having to sell yourself for jobs and properties again. We are looking forward to putting pictures on the wall, decorating the flat and make it feel like home. It's been a long time.

As I write this, I am sitting in our new flat in an awesomely cool area of Melbourne, awaiting our furniture to arrive, living out of a suitcase and non-refrigerated foods.

Thank god they installed the heating yesterday, it was getting to below 5 degrees at night!

But we already have a great group of friends down here- I think half the Gold Coast has moved down! That does make it much easier, especially the hospitality that everyone has shown us! The beanbags and doona (duvet) make a MASSIVE difference when you have a shell of an apartment! 

So I feel like we need just a tiny top up of luck (not even a bucket, just a cup) to get us the jobs and opportunities that we both deserve to enjoy our new Melbourne life.

Keep it all crossed for us please!

Much loves xxx