Wedding reflections and jubilations.

Three months after my last post, I finally feel ready to sit down and write about the wedding.

Which is funny for a few reasons. Firstly, most of my regular readers enjoyed the day with us, having been an integral part in sharing our special and intimate day. Secondly, the opening sentence is not consistent with the 'wedding tone'. 

I think that this post is something that other brides can appreciate and understand. I kind of think that it's unavoidable in this day in age.

The wedding day itself was a surreal bubble of euphoric love, happiness, romance and intimacy. Never in my life did I ever think that those emotions and overwhelming feelings of euphoria existed, let alone would be experienced. I always assumed that it would be "the happiest day of our life" because that's what you are told by you're happily married friends, acquaintances, magazines, blogs etc. 

Although that description might seem more chick flick than reality, it is surprisingly true. The wedding day surprised me in so many ways, including my own emotional reactions to everything, everyone and how something so simple and traditional, is actually ingrained with meaning, commitment and emotion. All the cliches were there - the excited/nervous jitters, the room a blur with familiar and loving faces, the moment our eyes met and didn't move from each other and how everything, everyone disappeared as it became a moment just for us.

I realised that everything I had been worried about pre-wedding, I didn't even notice on the day. With reflection and hindsight, yes, but not on the day. Looking back at the wedding day was also surreal, as there is so much of the day you don't remember clearly or even experience. A lot of the wedding is for your guests to enjoy as being the main 'hosts', you don't actually have a lot of time to experience all the details, games and hard work that you have invested into making the day 'you' and 'special'. Funny that really.

I have come to realise that the wedding was a beautiful, amazing and life affirming if not slightly traumatic experience. The stress and pressure you put on yourself to make everything perfect and keep everyone happy is incredible, and it snowballs towards the wedding day, not away from it. I considered myself one of those 'carefree' bride-to-be's of which I can acknowledge now I certainly was more controlling than you like to admit about yourself. It certainly has taken reflection, review, time out and the start of a new chapter to admit that some parts of the wedding planning process, I handled quite badly.

It's a crazy situation really. I found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, we planned a day that was going to be fun, full of awesome people, great food and beautiful backdrops. I just didn't feel that during the planning process it was going to be very 'me'. I became so invested in planning the wedding that I almost felt disconnected from it and it was like it was happening to someone else. No one can prepare you for the emotional roller-coaster that is getting engaged, planning a wedding, being a bride-to-be, being a hen, being the bride and then finally being a wife. There is no guidebook, no rules, and no amount of advice that will really hit home until afterwards. I found my perfect man, in an imperfect situation but we still make a perfect couple and it was still a stressful experience.

There is so much confusion and emotion in this process along with stress, anxiety and worry that romance doesn't seem to come into it. The amount of time and money and stress invested into this 'perfect day' seems crazy and we questioned many times whether it was going to be worth it.

Whether or not your pre-wedding experience is positive or not, if you are marrying for the right reasons, then the answer is a simple, "Yes. Of course".

Because again, this is true. 

In my previous post you may remember my anticipation of the moment I came down the stairs, into the ceremony, on the arm of my Dad to start the ceremony. 

The morning was frantic and disappeared so quickly. Nerves and excitement make you a bizarre person as no one can prep you for how you will feel this day. The moment that my beautiful girls and my Dad saw me in my dress was priceless. The jittery feeling of "its showtime"as the music starts and the girls are already walking gracefully and perfectly down the stairs.

The moment that my Dad takes my arm and we have an intimate and special moment between us, as he supports me emotionally and physically through the walking down the stairs. The moment I see all my girls in their beautiful dresses, holding their gorgeous homemade bouquets, eyes welling up, all big smiles that can't hide their love for me. The moment that makes me realise that I am physically shaking and welling up myself. The scan across the room to see a blur sea of smiling, happy, loving faces from around the world - a surreal experience where people you never thought would meet sit side by side, sharing in the glow - not being able to pick out one face from another, but knowing that you know and love them all.

That perfect moment where you're eyes meet his and they are magnetically locked into each others gaze. That moment you realise that the day is finally here, it is really happening and the rest of the world seems to disappear.

Follow this with the realisation of how much love there is for you both through the heartfelt and emotional readings from both siblings - everyone getting choked up and involved in the intimacy of that moment.

The moment where all these words are said and reciprocated and you didn't realise that these were your words as you're head is floating on a euphoric cloud that makes everything slightly hazy. The rings are on, the first married kiss and the moment he lifts you into the air as the most precious and loving gesture. Pure happiness and elation as the moment sinks in and we both raise our hands and cheer that the planning is over, we did it and to celebrate with our closest family and friends from around the world. 

The important thing to remember with wedding planning that it is never going to be perfect, and it shouldn't be. Life isn't. I'm sure that marriage isn't either. It is how you handle the situation that will effect how you feel about it. On the day itself, I was overwhelmed. With love of course. But also actually overwhelmed. An experience so strange in itself its hard to identify. But with love, logic and clarity it is important to ride the wave and enjoy it for what it is. With all my stress and worry - I realised that the day was actually the most perfect day for us. It was intimate, personal, special, fun, beautiful and we did all the things we wanted to and shared it with the most important people in our lives. The was very 'us' in every sense and everyone basked in our love because we were so open about it.

Have things changed? Do I feel like a wife?

Yes and Yes/No.

The truth is I have never had the "I'm a wife" moment, because I have felt committed to our relationship for a long time. We made the decision to make it work and we have. The marriage element felt inevitable at some point really. But emotionally, yes things have changed. Little indescribable things that won't make sense unless you have experienced it. The joys of being able to say "my husband" and to proudly call myself "a wife" - not very feminist but being a wife through choice makes a difference I think. I am happy to be a wife and a good wife and know that we have a long and happy life to share together.

And in case you were wondering, we did wake up the morning after, overlooking the sea in my hometown and did share an English Breakfast with two of our closet friends. We shared coffee and cake back at our reception venue to relax and reminisce  and caught up with everyone for more chocolate mudcake and to hear all the different wedding stories. We enjoyed an excellent degustation dinner as our first as husband and wife, and fell asleep in each others arms, exhausted but happy and ready to start the rest of our new life together.

Image by Rebecca Douglas Photography: www.rebeccadouglas.co.uk

To everyone that shared our experience in every form, we can't thank you enough for all your love and support.

Love always xoxo

Politics, parties, plants and planning.

A very happy and belated New Year to everyone!

As a part of my NY obligations I have promised myself to actually dedicate some time to write and continue the blog after lots of lovely feedback that people actually missed reading it - which is always lovely to hear.

I am aiming for once a week - unless I have anything particularly exciting to report! If this doesn't happen - feel free to poke, wink, kick me or whatever it is you do these days.

So. I guess the title of the post says it all for me at the moment.

As you may or may not be aware of, my current role is particularly relevant in the Australian political space at the moment - working with asylum seekers and refugees.

So this first P is the Politics.

There was breaking news this week about a 'violent riot' on Manus Island (an offshore detention centre in Papua New Guinea of which Australia is responsible for - in theory) of which asylum seekers - seeking asylum in Australia - were responsible for starting.

The day after I spent the day editing voicemail audio clips from 2 asylum seekers calling directly from Manus Island to tell the organisation that the local PNG people broke into the detention centre with machetes and started attacking the asylum seekers.

Why you may ask?

Because just like Australia, PNG doesn't want them either. Except Australia has dumped all their responsibility and tax-payer dollars onto PNG.

Yesterday was a particularly sad day at work due to the then breaking news that 77 people had been seriously injured and 1 person actually died whilst seeking Australian protection.

Hearing the truth and information directly from the ground is particularly saddening as despite the truth being spoken by people on the island, the government has scared even the most Left-wing media into keeping neutral and not exposing the truth. Hello ABC.

So whilst as a nation we might complain that our cafe latte was supposed to be a flat white or that the pubic transport situation is dire - we must remember that at least we have the freedom to experience these 'atrocities'.

Anyway, work rant over.

The next P is more fun. Parties!

This is more in reference to organising my Hen's party with my 7 amazing bridesmaids and 1 amazing groomslady!

So - just quietly - I am quite excited. Not because I want to wear penis paraphernalia, drink shots from a necklace and pass out on a beach Ibiza style - but because it is a great opportunity to spend a few days with some of the most fabulous women on the planet.

Being so far away from most of you is not easy at the best of times - and definitely not whilst planning a wedding (Gave away the last P!). But I know that you will all pull together to 'send me off in style' or whatever that really means anyways.

It means a lot to me that anyone would even put the effort in to help us get all of this off the ground - let alone the enthusiasm and grace that has been put into sourcing all sorts of quality information.

On a completely separate and 3rd P - Plants.

This may surprise everyone that reads this that might know me fairly well - I am now a Green Thumb.

Not only of my own labelling but fully endorsed by the future Mr Murphy. (Jokes - he wouldn't change it!)

I am pleased to announce that I am now the proud grower of:

- Chilli's
- Gardenias
- Marigolds (from the seed - oh yeah!)
- Jasmine
- Variety of succulents (in case all the others actually die)
- Mint
- Basil
- Spinach (possibly on the deathbed)
- Coriander (def on the deathbed but hoping for a resurrection)

So as you can see around 85% of current growth is probably nor dying or dead.

And the jasmine plant pleases me greatly as this is the scent of Asia where my love and I fell in love. Ain't that cute.

I can keep you regularly updated on this progress as this could change.

Final P - you guessed it - Planning.

So, yes, The English Rose is getting married. Abroad. Or quite abroad from where she currently resides anyway.

Now we are in the swing of 2014 - so is the planning.

We have got the major things locked in which is good, still need to lock in some entertainment, decor, bridal party outfits, rings, food, drinks, music etc etc.

Apparently there are a lot of elements to a wedding.
But I think I had my 'bridezilla' stressy moments last year when we went back to visit the family and start the planning.

I have since calmed down and 'let go' a bit more as I have realised that planning from the other side of the world can be tricky. But having amazing family and friends back at home makes it a whole world easier.

So today I read through our ceremony details and options - which is actually quite a defining moment. The ceremony is an aspect that is often forgotten or overshadowed by all the frills and stuff you can have to make your wedding day even more special.

Reading the options and the words that we will actually say to each other is quite eye opening. It makes you imagine the moment that you say these vows to each other and makes it feel more real. It also brings a smile to your face when you imagine saying and hearing these words.

More importance needs to be emphasised on the ceremony as this is the defining moment where you become united and the legal recognition of the vows taken.

As I think about the year ahead it is an extremely exciting time. The year will go quickly, as every one does, but this year shall mark the end of an era and the beginning of a new chapter - being a wife and becoming Mrs Currie.

I hope to enjoy every minute of it and not take it for granted.

Well I hope I have satisfied my hungry readers for now.

More on life in Melbourne, plant updates and hopefully less of the politics.

I shall leave you all with a few more P's in my life right now.

Muchos love as ever xoxox

Placebo, Parma, Parsnip Crisps, Papercut and Possums.

This is 27.

So the last 6 weeks have flown by. Must be a sign of getting older.

But to get you up-to-speed - the last post spoke of quitting on my 2nd day of which I have definitely come to realise that i have made the right decision. Hurrah!

I now hold the eagerly awaited 'Manager' status for community fundraising and events at a non-profit organisation that operates direct services to those seeking asylum in Australia. A hot topic indeed.

It is astounding actually how much of an issue this is over here. With the minimal amount of people trying to claim asylum in comparison to the rest of the world - it is a joke. But one with a punch-line that can kill people if they are deported back to their home country. Or die trying to get here.

It's funny because when I sit in our large lunch room downstairs amongst all the staff, volunteers and asylum seeker members it doesn't feel like anyone is a threat to me, my way of life, my beliefs or the country that I now live in. But yet this is a view that is so often taken over here.

The view of many is the same view of the sensationalist mass-media which reflects the view of the current Government. The same view that Today Tonight and A Current Affair are keen to portray to keep their ratings (tabliod-esque sensationalist 'news' programs). I have hope in the fact that if more of the public had access to more information and less opinion, then they might actually be able to form one on their own.

Australia really is a country that often struggles to keep up with the rest of the Western world - gay marriage anyone?

An amazing piece of work that has been recently released by my organisation is this incredible documentary below - it is not a piece of propaganda - but a very fair, funny and heart-warming account of how real people are trying to educate, challenge and change negative perceptions on those seeking asylum.
(And it also features Imogen Bailey, Goyte and Hunters & Collectors!)

This is The Hot Potato: A Road To Transformation (Trailer)

See the full video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zixigIrO23A&feature=share&list=PLIyLjb7qxaQWqnCF_C2N4bFwsHcE_AKew

Anyway, enough of my political opinions for now. Back to being 27.

So this is a big year for me as I shall be married by the time I turn 28. I can't help but feel that this is a big turning year - not only for myself, but for a lot of people.

It is getting to that time where things start to become serious - friends getting engaged, people having babies - all the stuff you know is going to happen at some point, but you still kinda feel too young for it to be happening.

I have found out very recently that an very old friend of mine (who lives in a totally different part of the world) has just given birth to a baby girl. I remember the days we used to bake cakes and sell them to the neighbours and  wash people's cars to make a bit of money. Before the days when even our siblings weren't babies as they hadn't been born yet.

And I found out that another close friend of mine is expecting next year - so by the time I come home, they will already have a 5 month old baby. Crazy!

All of this I guess is escalated by the fact that we are trying to plan the wedding from afar away from family and friends in the UK and away from family in Oz. To be honest, it kind of makes me homesick to think about home and try to plan the most wonderful day when we can't event pop into the venue to ask them a question - or we have to wait up at night for the UK opening hours to give anyone a call.

I can't help but feel that the experience of getting married is completely different to how I thought it would be - not that I ever really thought about weddings - just that I didn't realise it would be so emotionally draining.

The hardest part is feeling like I am missing out on sharing the experience with my nearest and dearest. The best part is now we are working in Melbourne, we can actually afford the wedding!

So I guess this is 27. The turning point in realising real-life, making commitments, understanding what you want and accepting what you can't have. I guess they also call this "being a grown-up".

Much loves to all - I miss you all greatly xxxxx