Riding the Rollercoaster.

As I am fast approaching the grand old age of 28, I have come to realise that the 20’s decade is a beautiful but rickety rollercoaster that you have to ride. When you first got on it, you really wanted to, but as you see the end in sight, you’re pretty glad to get off.

 

When you first enter your twenties having come out of the other end of the angsty teenage years, the twenties seems bright and fresh and full of hope and possibilities. 

You go to university, meet lots of new people, stay up all night partying and then doing a chocolate run during exam/exhibition time. You meet lifelong-friends, some meet their future husbands and wives and you then you enter the adult world a bit exhausted, but excited and full of knowledge – raring to kick-start your career and achieve all those ambitious dreams.

But at the (nearly) grand old age of 28, I don’t feel that I have it all figured out quite yet. Or even nearly figured out at all.

 

Fast forward a few years and it’s time to reflect on what happened.

 

Time apparently sped up to the point where you have become one of those people that says, “doesn’t time fly” and “I can’t believe it’s (insert month here) already!” and finally, “ I don’t know where this year has gone”.

 

I haven’t been in a ‘career’ job for longer than 1.5 years and have racked up a fair few places on my CV as I move from place to place – always searching for ‘that place’ that I can call home.

I have gained lots and lots of transferable skills from 1 industry and have learnt what and where my ‘line’ is with regards to work, the workplace, people and stress. And then I took on a new role and actually learnt it.

 

I watched Masterchef Australia the other day where one of the 28 year old contestants was called ‘brave’ for discovering what he really wanted to do – even though it was a little late in the game. 

Like we are supposed to have it all figured out by now.

 

And according to the ‘olden days’, in your twenties you are supposed to have:

 

-       Become educated/learn a trade

-       Get a job/career and that is just ‘what you do’

-       Find a partner

-       Buy a house

-       Start a family

That seems like an awful lot to me! Of course it doesn’t take into consideration that a lot of people travel these days, change careers and actually don’t even end up doing what they spent thousands studying. Yay for the recession!

 

A few weeks ago – all of this really bothered me. I have a little bit of a meltdown thinking that I was the only person in the world riding this rollercoaster. 

From the outside, it always seems like everyone else has it together.

 

It seems like most of my friends have their careers on track and in a good place – something of which i am still envious of as I struggle to figure out whether the last 5 years in my industry have been any good for me and whether I can continue or want to continue down this path.

 

However I know the grass is always greener. I have met the love of my life who I will proudly call my husband in a few months time and I have also travelled around the world twice and have experienced many things that my peers have not.

 

During this period of uncertainty, I spoke with a very close friend of mine back in the UK who had just started a new and exciting role and explained how I felt and all of my worries about not having achieved the things we are supposed to.

 

She said, “Do you really think we have it all figured out? I don’t have a clue what I am doing and I don’t know where I am going. I’m just doing it”.

 

And was  my final loop of the rollercoaster. I had overcome my fear of the unknown and my uncertainty of the 20’s to sit back and appreciate where I am right now and to relax as this decade comes to a full stop and you can finally lift that heavy bar from you and step out into your thirties having achieved some of what you wanted to achieve.

 

And as I step off this rollercoaster ride knowing that veryone else on it is feeling the same, I can’t help but wonder what ride of ‘unachievements’ I’ll choose to get on next. And that’s the exciting part.

An almost 2.5 year Australia Mythbusting Fictional Review with the English Rose.

The differences between Aussies and Poms:

Aussie	English
Doona	Duvet
No worries/mate	That’s ok
She’ll be alright	It’ll be ok
Struth!	Goodness!
Dag	Unfashionable/Goofy/Naff
Stubbie	Bottle of beer
Stubbie Cooler	Beer holder/cooler
Choof Off	Leave/Go
Outback	Desert
The Bush	Forest/Woods
“I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck”	“I’m really hungry”
Bottle-O	The Offie
Chips	Crisps
Hot Chips	Chips

Q- So, when we think of Australia here in the UK, we think about all the sharks and spiders and snakes..how do you cope with that?

ER – I live in a constant state of fear under my doona...Not really. To be honest, people are much more dangerous than all of these creatures. Especially if they are drunk. Even more so out in the bush. Red alert if the two are combined. Or silent rhinos. They are pretty dangerous too.

Q- But I thought all of these creatures thrived in hotter climates? Does this mean that Australia isn’t hot?

ER – Yes and No. I mean yes to the poisonous creatures thing and Yes and No to Australia being hot thing. It’s both. In different places at different times, or in the same place at the same time. Confused? Visit Melbourne in Spring or Autumn. A little known fact outside of Australia is that they have a ski season with mountains and snow and stuff like that. The concept of cold also differs in each state. In QLD below 25 degrees is cold. In Victoria it’s below 10 degrees.

Q- Do Aussies and Kiwi’s sound the same?

ER – Actually, no they don’t. Whilst I never used to be able to tell the difference, my ears are now finely tuned to heat the nasal twang of the Aussie accent, which is in stark contrast to the tinny Kiwi accent. No offence to either.

Quick-fire round.

Q-Everyone surfs?

ER – No. No they don’t. As stated previously, it’s not always hot. And not all places are sea water – aka the beach – and some of these aren’t even surfable as they are more like swimming bays. A safe haven for foreigners like myself.

Q-Everyone is tanned, buff with sandy blonde hair (like a surfer?)

ER – Yes, yes they are! Jokes. Unfortunately not. That would be nice wouldn’t it? Again, unless you live on the GC (Gold Coast) or live permanently on Bondi Beach then it’s just not true. A few exist, but the majority have jobs. Fast-fact – a large percentage (can’t remember what) of Aussies actually have a Vitamin D deficiency due to working in a n office all day and not laying naked in the sun. It can kill you here anyways.

Q-Yowzas. What about kangaroos?

ER –Well, they do exist. They just aren’t everywhere. At least they aren’t in the cities. You don’t see them crossing the street or catching the tram. You’re most likely to see them on the side of the road. Or in a zoo.

Q-And koalas?

ER – See above.

Q- Do people actually play didgeridoos?

ER – Buskers and in aboriginal shows generally. It’s not a widely practised art, unless its making money it seems.

Q- Can you through a boomerang?

ER – Of course! I don’t think it would come back though.

Q- What famous stuff have you seen in Australia?

ER – Erm, I saw a few famous bits when I was backpacking here such as the Great Barrier Reef and the Sydney Opera House. This time it’s been more of a ‘local’ trip. I can direct you to get a great coffee and tell you where the bus goes...however I have seen some ‘big stuff’ which is semi-famous in and around Oz:

·          Big Sphynx

·          Big Ayers Rock Petrol Station

·          Big Merino

·          Big Banana

·          Big Koala

There are many more.

But we are going to Ayers Rock next year for our 4 year anniversary!

Q-What about the ‘shrimp’ thing?

ER – You mean the ‘shrimp on the barbie’ thing?

Well, yes in QLD people do BBQ alot. It’s like an outside oven and much more sophisticated than in the UK. Funnily enough, coal barbeques are considered novel and retro. But shrimps here are not called shrimps. They are prawns. And they are usually huge by European standards. The UK ‘prawn’ is pretty much a tiny shrimp. Please note this image:

 

Q- Sooo..your shrimp is wearing an Aussie hat? Is that a myth too?

ER – Erm...pretty much. It’s another tourist lie. Although I did see 1 Aussie wearing one, once. So it can happen.

 

Q- What other tourist lies are there?

ER –That drop bears are dangerous. Haven’t heard of them? Google it.

Q-So what is the true Australia?

ER –Let me kick back and open a cold one before I get back to you.

Q-Well, that was insightful. Maybe I should see what it’s really like. Can I stay with you?

ER –No worries mate.

 

Other things to check out for more Aussie culture:

·          Australia’s Eurovision Performance

·          Skippy

·          Neighbours Set Tours.

·          When Opera visited Australia

·          When Ellen visited Australia

I am the victim of an addiction.

I have become the victim of an addiction. Just like many addicts, I feel the pressure of the cravings, the constant struggle to make the ‘right’ decisions.

I am the victim of an addiction.

But the addiction isn’t mine. The addiction is sugar and the addiction is everyone else’s and it could be yours too. Let me explain.

Firstly, not everyone is a sugar addict. It just so happens that I am. Ever have a bit of chocolate or cake and need to eat the whole thing? I don’t mean a desire to eat the whole thing, an actual physical craving and absolute need to consume it all once you have tasted the good stuff.

Is one bit ever enough? Is it all or nothing? That is how it is for me. I can’t control how much I do have so I have to control the fact that I don’t or can’t have it.

But it is not my sugar addiction that I am a victim  of – it is everyone else’s. Since I took on Sarah Wilson's I Quit Sugar (IQS) 8 week-detox, I have lost weight, I feel energised and healthy. I don’t have sweet cravings, needs or fixes. My skin is clearer, my energy is high, I am not so tired even if I have a terrible night sleep (a frequent occurrence for me) and I don’t feel the afternoon or mid-morning ‘slump’ – or at least I don’t crash into an abyss without a biscuit or coffee fix.

I feel fabulous and look great – and actually think I look fabulous and great too – a huge achievement for most women to think yet along actually admit to smiling in the mirror in the mornings. Most importantly my body feels more ‘stable’ now that I have a greater control over my blood sugar and insulin levels which means less” super-grumpy-because-I’m-hungry” syndrome.

I am very affected by what I eat and how I treat my body. 

This is a cliché that many people use like ‘the body is a temple’ blah blah blah. But there is a degree of truth in it. However, everyone is very different and treats very differently. Myself – if I ate too much sugar I would hit an energised high, and come crashing down horribly on my sugar comedown. Symptoms include: dizziness, faintness, fatigue, nausea, headaches, tingly limbs and the shakes.

My hunger has decreased and I actually don’t really miss the sweet stuff anymore – finding great sugar-free alternatives and baking with non-sugar sweeteners.

But throughout this healthy change of mine, I have found that I have become a victim of other’s addiction to sugar. Naturally, working in an office there is a lot of sitting down – and even more eating to be had. I have never seen and been offered so much of the sweet treats until I had recently taken up my new role. 

Society has made sugar so integral to our lives that most of us can’t live without it. 

The office appears to be the epitome of this:

• Some’s baked?
• Someones birthday?
• Snacks at work?
• Morning tea?
• Afternoon tea?
• Meeting biscuits?
• Meeting double chocolate and raspberry cheesecake? (this happened to me last week).
• Something with your cuppa?
• Religious festivals/celebrations?

Some answers to the above that I have been offered in the first 4 weeks of working here:

• Easter eggs
• Biscuits
• Banana Bread
• Jam Donut
• Fruit Platters
• Finger sandwiches
• Coffee cake
• Cheese and crackers
• Champagne and wine
• The double chocolate and raspberry cheesecake as mentioned above.
• Homemade chocolate and banana muffins

This has turned me into a dishonest and sneaky person – as if I was giving into my sugar cravings and gorging all of these items on the sly, away from normal eyes. The truth is, I am actually hiding my healthy self to my current colleagues by having to accept these items and ‘hide’ them or take them home under the guise of – “I’ll have it after lunch” or “I’ll make a cup of tea to go with it”. 

My partner says they must think I have an eating disorder or something. But these lies are to hide the fact that I am actually experiencing work peer pressure to eat these items and to eat them every time they come around. I have been offered cake with a phrase like “you look like you could do with one of these”. Said in jest, but it hurts still the same – as I am being judged for my healthy choices and my willpower to say “no” to the temptation- something I can never do when I am on a sugar high. 

I have tried to politely refuse, but it has actually gotten to the point where my colleagues are forcing me to take some because “it is just sooo good, you HAVE to try it”. Really, seeing me eat these things or at least take them, justifies their own decisions – of which I have nothing wrong with. 

But I definitely don’t judge those who can and choose to eat these items with “you really don’t need one of those now do you?”. But its ok on the other foot? People have insecurities and weaknesses, or they just damn well love cake – it’s none of my business, so why make my business yours? 

Unfortunately, despite how lovely everyone is, they just wouldn’t understand what I am trying to do for myself and what I have achieved already – and how proud of myself I am for all of this! They would think its a crazy wedding diet and that I am being silly because “I’m so tiny” (I have overheard colleagues discussing how “tiny” I am as if it was a bad thing) – when in actual fact, the wedding is just the first goal to ensure I maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle always. 

It is a lifestyle change in preparation for the wedding and my new married life – not just a crash diet so I can eat lots of cake on the wedding day (which I will still do by the way!)

And this post is just my personal experience - it is not intended to preach or convert anyone. Just an interesting observation I have learnt through doing this trial.

It's funny, it kind of reminds me of the 6 years I was vegetarian. You wouldn't think that there would be much to say as it is so common these days - but funnily enough, everyone appears to have an opinion on the matter. The lengthy discussions that were had about 'how good meat is for you', 'animal rights' etc etc is actually quite fascinating.

Especially when my contribution was always something like " I don't really like meat". Bam. End of conversation. You can't argue with opinion, but you can argue about ethics, values and politics.

But the shoe also goes on the other foot. I've had conversations with vegetarians that can talk "til the cows come back to their happy home' too!

All in all, society needs to respect and recognise that everyone's bodies are very different, react and respond very differently to each other. This means we all have different needs - and  how some people can eat whatever they like and feel fabulous, and others have to be a little bit more controlled over the situation to get the same feeling.

At the end of the day, who doesn't want to wake up feeling fantastic?

Grey But Great News Day.

The clouds may be over, the rain maybe be pouring and the water maybe dripping  in our spare room - but despite all of this- it is still a Great News Day!

I have come to the conclusion that life works in mysterious ways. The world is small and indeed wonderful, and everything happens for a reason.

I have always been an advocate for the saying, 

"Everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end".

It is something that I have always tried to have in the back of my mind when times are tough and life gives you tiny, hard lemons.

With the world being small, I heard an amazing story from our cake lady back in the UK, who met a couple whose daughter lives in Oz but is having a celebration in Kent after having the official ceremony in Australia earlier this year.

She mentioned that she was making a cake for a woman in the opposite situation-living in Oz but getting married in Kent. 

The couple mentioned my name laughing as the cliche question of 'Do you know so and so in Australia?' comes to mind.

Our cake lady looked at them and said 'yes' and she's marrying an Aussie-and mentioned my fiancé.

It turns out that our cake lady was speaking to an old school friends parents whom we reconnected with at my friends wedding in Canberra in February! Small and wonderful world indeed.

This brought a smile to my face as I realised the beautiful uncertainty of life-of which I was always unsure that uncertainty was a positive thing.

After a period of recent negative uncertainty, anxiety and concern, I have landed a temporary contract job for the next few months doing Graphic Design and Marketing for a disability NFP.

This definitely helps add to my newly found optimism.

In addition to this, I was also announced as the winner of a 6 week nutritional overhaul program as a part of my boot camp and wedding/fitness preparations!

I have won a running singlet (vest top), a healthy cooking book and 4 weeks of Bootcamp for free!

Plus, the long awaited Chocorn has hit the Woolies shelves! (For my UK readers it was a winning product from a reality cooking show called Recipe to Riches).

It looks to be three amazing flavours of cholesterol dipped popcorn. Yum!

So tonight I shall celebrate with my love all these successes (and work off the Chocorn at Bootcamp tomorrow!) and see that sometimes the stars do align in the most mysterious ways to reward a testing situation with the best possible outcome. 

Much loves xoxo

The Wedding 'Mare.

As I sit here munching on my hot buttery raisin toast and earl grey tea, I realise that the 5 month mark has slipped by me without even realising. By 3 days to be exact.

It is this fact and the fact that I didn't realise, that makes me realise that we are on that downward roller-coaster ride to the wedding day. What also solidified this realisation was the start of the wedding nightmares.

This started happening last week - when my subliminal mind must have been trying to tell me that the countdown had begun - as I awoke in a panic realising that I had just lived out my wedding day without any head wear or ceremony decorations. To top it all off, no one ate the cake. The panic set in.

I am reluctant to subscribe to the constant countdown to the wedding day, as this can instil worry, panic, anxiety, pressure, nightmares or all of the above. The pressure that we all put ourselves under for the sake of ensuring it is the most photogenic event ever, to top cousin Bethal's $100k wedding on Hamilton Island with dolphins delivering the rings to the shore*, is getting out of hand.

However, although I am trying to be the 'cool, calm and collected' bride that I would like to be, I am not immune to the wedding nightmares.

The lists of tasks not yet completed, the decisions not yet made, the millions of ideas to sift through and discuss of yet another Pinterest board will definitely reek havoc on your sleep content.

The fact that most wedding guests don't take home their 'gift' or can't recall the flower arrangements on the tables does help to refocus our energies on areas that will actually enhance the day without spending hours or money worrying about the finest details - that will be forgotten in an instant.

I have it on good authority, and from my own experience, that guests always remember the dress, the food, the music selection, that funny moment the flower-girl farts mid-ceremony ** and whether there is a free bar or not. Sometimes the wedding cake is forgotten and left uneaten! As a lover of cake insert - Shock! Horror! here.

What I am constantly trying to remember is perspective. The reason why we are getting married and the journey that it has taken to get us both here.

Having met my gorgeous fiancé in South America, reconnecting in Australia, kidnapping him to Asia, meeting the family back home in England and then jetting off to live in Australia, we realised very early on in our relationship what we wanted our end goal to be. There were so many chances to back out and it would have been easier to do so, but we both know that we would have missed out on an incredible lifetime of happiness.

I think it is a telling sign that the hardest part of a relationship in our situation, is the situation itself, as being together is the easiest part.

So with that in mind it is now 4 months and 27 days until W-Day and I should get back to that list. Just for the record, the chocolate cake will be cut and it will be eaten in multiple slices (and that's just for me!) as nothing says "I love you" more than fabulous cake.

I am sure there will be many more wedding nightmares (like knocking over the wedding cake just like I did at my Mum and Step-dads wedding***) but if that happens, just wake up and make another hot buttery slice of raisin toast with a cup of earl grey tea - but this time, for two.


Much love xoxo


*disclaimer - I do not have any cousins, definitely none called Bethal and this is not a suggestion on how to utilise dolphins in your own wedding.

**disclaimer -This did actually happen at a friends wedding. And it was pretty funny.

***disclaimer -This also happened. Luckily the solid royal icing saved it.


Ps - Thank you for all your kind words of support for my last blog post. It is greatly appreciated and your insight has given me great inspiration for your appreciation.

Career Crack

I recently saw this post on Facebook and it instantly alleviated some of my current worries.

5 months out from the wedding day and 5 ¾ months from my 28^th birthday, I’d have thought I had it all figured out. Learning from my mistakes in my teen years and “discovering myself” in my twenties. 30 is on the horizon along with becoming a wife, buying a house, owning a dog and rabbit (they will be friends) and hopefully having a family of my own.

Alas. As I evaluate my life on a Tuesday afternoon (I wrote this yesterday) on a rare, sunny autumn day in Melbourne, I realise that maybe I’m not quite there. Newly unemployed after escaping the clutches of yet another workplace destined to send me into an early grave. And I had subscribed t it along with everyone else.

Now that its only 4 months till we leave for the wedding and requiring 6 weeks off, it seems unlikely that a permanent job is on the immediate horizon. However, I’m tempted to believe that this could be a blessing in disguise.

We spend so long in the workplace with the retirement age seaming increasingly out of reach. Factor in university, some travel and a few years of family time and you are still looking at around 40 years working 38 hour weeks – unless you are fortunate enough not to have to.

Now this is obviously less than previous generations, however with the world being so career focussed, I am tempted to believe that with higher competition, expectations , working hours and responsibilities, that today’s working world has hit a peak in stressful working conditions. And it is not working out. With more people now than ever suffering from work-related stress issues including insomnia/sleep disorders, this is not a sustainable strategic plan for long-term growth.

Going back say 12 years when I was a kid, I used to think that the monotony of a 9-5 job was s routine, so typical, aka so conventional. I was extremely career focussed – set on getting my qualifications so I could go to uni to “better myself” and to enjoy the privilege of a “better life” with “higher pay” as it was sold to us prospective undergrads.

Little did I know that a ‘career job’ didn’t fit into this mould of a regular 9-5 job as I was avoiding, but in the worst way possible. Hello late nights, working from home, working weekends and whatever else to ‘prove myself’ in my career, my dedication to each and every role I took.

I could never predict how an industry that you give so much to can take even more back until it is taking things like your health and social life until you feel you have nothing left to give. Or even willingly give.

They say that your 20s is a period of uncertainty, self-discovery and getting to grips with your path in life. Well, I have definitely seen the uncertainty in the last few weeks – if not for many years. Being surprisingly unemployed after giving everything plus more until I ended up  with a sleep disorder psychologist. He is helping but miraculously my sleeping is much better without the anxiety of work.

I have learnt my boundaries in the workplace what I am prepared to give and compromise and what I am not.  Maybe this is what sealed the unemployment deal.

But most importantly I do feel that despite this hurdle I am on a healthier path in life. I have recognised that I have a self-sacrificing schema (Google it if it resonates with you – it could really help) which means I am destined to a decline in my own personal heath in order to benefit someone else. This has drawn me to the conclusion that the fundraising industry can never be an entirely good thing for me.

So, a time to reflect, back-track and to see what I really can do and achieve without all the monkeys, gorillas and other zoo animals on my back. I’d like to go back to my creative routes where I am truer to myself and I can dedicate my time to my health, my life, my future and our future life together.

In the meantime, maybe I should really go back to my routes and get a paper round.

Other updates:

The plant situation is going really well with a large number of reddening chillies and the mint going pretty crazy. The wedding prep is also going well – I think – with invitations to be posted in the next few weeks.  I am attempting to catch up on all the things that you never have time to do as well as getting a new job and wedding stuff.

I shall try to keep my updates more regular – it is one of my resolutions – so keep prodding me ok?

Much love xx